facebook quandry : you are not my friend

I've been investigating my relationships that intersect on facebook. The who and how you want to be connected to people. I have many friends that are my friends; family, associates, tangential relationships and people that want to be friended.

Its not that I don't want to be connected; its how I want to be connected.
How do I create conversations without creating a door to my inner space. The democracy of technologies allow us to be connected, maybe too connected all the time.